My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
