hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
