I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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