And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize