She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
