Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
