Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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