if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
