Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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