he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We need to get me chipped asap
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
