i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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