Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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