I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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