and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
