Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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