Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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