just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
