I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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