Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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