I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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