When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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