They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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