I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize