After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
