she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
