I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
