so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
