awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
