she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
