I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
