pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
