shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
