Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
