is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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