I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize