He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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