Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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