Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Your penis caused this!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
