what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
