mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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