if you like me you must not know who I am
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
