i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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