He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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