I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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