I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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