have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
