something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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