i don't like sucking hair
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize