If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
