I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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