You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
