worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
