Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
