Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
