Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize