So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
