It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
two words...techno handjob
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
