He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
