Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
