"it" just moved
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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