Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
