he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
