just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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