it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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