you win again, gameday.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize