I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can I color on your dick again?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
