You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
