he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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