i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
