The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
