If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
