I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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