we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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