i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
