i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
