I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
