Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think I sprained my soul last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
