I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
