Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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