If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
