id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
